Philosophy is hard

In my philosophy class today we were discussing wonderful questions like "A human is a thinking thing" and "minds are different than brains." The professor gave us a list of 15 statements that we had two minutes to determine if they were true or false. In groups of six, we then had to come to a consensus answer on the question. My group got to number four. It was hard. And by hard I mean impossible.
At the beginning of the semester, Dr. Pitt described philosophy as the process of seeking eternal answers to eternal questions. What makes the class so fascinating is that there is no way to answer a question like "is there a mind" or "is there a god," at least from a rational or empirical approach. Yes, I have some idea of a mind or a soul, some subconscious, undefinable part of my existence that is separate from my body but just as much a part of me as my fingers and toes. I have no impression of my soul, however. I cannot see it or hear it. I don't remember an experience that occurred only to my soul and not through my senses. On some level, though, I cannot deny that there is a part of me that is bigger than 5'10 130 pounds (yes, I'm skinny as hell. Deal). Similarly with my belief in a God, I have no rational basis for believing in him. However, there is something that pulls on me that I cannot deny. It isn't based on logic or reason. But over and over, I see that there is something bigger than the world and there is a better way to live than the way the world tells me to. Sadly, this is not a very acceptable answer in philosophy class. We laugh at Descartes argument that because he has an idea of God, he must be real. However, I can not prove he exists in any more definite way than Descartes. I know that to those of you who do not believe in god or see him similarly to the way I do, this is not a strong argument. I just cannot accept him not existing. Despite the lack of a sensory impression of a God, I have to vivacious of an idea that there is a God who actually cares for me.

One of the guys in my group today and I got off onto our own side conversation. He made the claim that the concept of mind is similar to the concept of god -- constructed by philosophers to solve their problems, but never explained or proved thoroughly enough to stand on their own. I asked him how he thought of god, and he replied that he was probably an agnostic, and figured that if he lived a good life, he didn't expect God to reject him. Now, I fundamentally disagree, and I think that in asking him what "good" was, he understood the shallowness of his answer. However, I think that his answer reveals a deep truth that Christians often want to reject -- Jesus Christ was the example of the best possible life for Christians and Nonchristians alike. Regardless of how a human being views the Resurrection and grace and heaven and hell, I do not see any reason that a muslim who makes peace or a buddhist who mourns or an agnostic who is hungry and thirsty for righteousness should not be blessed.

Many philosophers are remembered more for the problems they create than for their solutions, because so often the questions are so much bigger than any answer we can construct. I think that this might be the single element of philosophy that points to the existence of God. This world is so much bigger and more complicated than something that I can comprehend, that I cannot imagine a chance creation. When life is filled with questions as complicated as the ones we are faced with, I cannot imagine a conclusion as simple as death. I need a God bigger than the questions I am asking.

I think this quest for a bigger God is why I've decided not to be an engineer. Engineers are focused on solving material problems; they find answers to the questions on this earth. My questions lately are so much bigger than this world, however. I need to devote my life to asking these really big questions and maybe, if I surround myself with some really wonderful people, together we can answer a few of them.